Well, I had plans to go out tonight but since my mom is stressing so much, I think it's best I should stay home and be there with her through these tragic billing cycles.  Oh I wish I could blow up credit card companies and kills the mailman.  Haha, I think that's every American's dream now isn't it?  Lol.  Anyways, so with my progress with nail art, I have taken up in painting nails and designing it.  I posted pictures of my nail art on my myspace. 

www.myspace.com/surrealmoments229

Just go to the Nail Art album.

So I started my no pop diet.  Day one worked out pretty well.  I think I might go work out around 7 30pm.  Which is in an hour and just a bit of toning up so I can get into my daily routine.  Trying to do myself some good.  Working out is not fun on your own and my butthead friend, Sam, is always working or with her fiance so our work out schedule always gets postponed, hell, we never get to it to postpone it.  Fancy that, eh? 

Moving on, last night I had a strange dream.  I saw Tu again in my dream.  Not sure if it's because my thoughts seldomly run upon the idea of him or because dreams seem to haunt me or some sort of magic that he is able to find his way into my dreams but I dreamt that I was with a friend, opening a gift box while on the phone with him and remember him saying something along the lines that what was in the box was mine to have and he had bought it for me.  I opened the box and inside was a white, beautiful wedding gown.  I was in shock and that is all I could remember from that dream.  I had more than one dream but as pyschology has it, we barely remember any dreams.  Why am I being haunted with the ghost of my past?

This morning, I had a pleasant almost 3 hour conversation with my father about my life, my mistakes and our family.  It was very nice to be able to conversate with him and know that we can actually sit down every once in a while and actually talk without screaming at one another or going through some major crisis.  Our family seems to fall apart as each bill comes home.  I am not sure how they say America is the land of the free and pursuit of happiness when we have limitations by financial means and no happiness because of those limitations.  We have restrictions and our own happiness is taken away from us by the currency of what this government thinks is necessary to survive and when it comes down to it, I must ask, what does our government really stand for?  Really, is it liberty and happiness?  Or debt and stress?  Though I am the cause of most debt in this home we reside in but yet, it seems there is no break, is there?  As V said, "People should not be afraid of their government, government should be afraid of their people."  I agree completely.  There is something terribly wrong with this country.  Where is our happiness?

I had the opportunity to clean my room and organize my closet.  I was able to organize my shoes, my tank tops and blouses, short sleeve shirts to long sleeves, and jeans and dresses.  It's nice to see a beautiful closet with clothes I can choose from not digging through a pile, lol.  Oh the excitement of being a female in fashion.  I had my comforter drycleaned so now I have a nice bedset again which I can sleep in but...I rarely sleep so what does it matter?  It's nothing but just a mild amusement in laying on my bed dressed beautifully for my admirement. 

Ahh, the future is near.  Tomorrow it is back to work at 10am- 7 30pm and payday.  Maybe I'll get the chance to actually practice my acrylics and make more designs.  I need some more inspiration.  At first I thought the designs would come endlessly but the more I create, the lesser ideas I have and just as a writer, I find myself at a wall, a block.  Where is my muse?

So when it comes down to it at the end of my entries, my title seems to contradict itself.  It's not really a Sunday relaxation because the definition of relaxation means to be in no mind state and to be completely zen from all stress when really I am sitting here stressing over bills, friends, love, and my own life.  Should I retitle it Sunday Stress?  Aah yes, quite more suitable don't you thiink?

xox

L

So in events that things have grown to become out of my hands, I did so many things I thought was the impossible.  I had slept with someone that I never thought I would.  Good friend, just wasn't my thing.  I looked at the old conversations on AIM I had save that I had had with Tu a year ago and reread them.  I found his number and was able to call him home but he wasn't there.  I'm afraid to call back.  I talked to his sister and I am terrified of her judgement.  Perhaps she didn't even tell him I called in being protective of her older brother.  I doubt he will ever cal me....

I went with Bev, Shannon P and Rose as their wedding planner and helped pick flowers and little things here and there for the wedding as well as the bridesmaid dresses.  Shannon and Rose got their dresses today finally.  We purchased the alter and it just needs to be spraypainted white.  We got some candles and candleholders as centerpieces.  Things are starting to look organized.=) More work ahead though....

Ah...insomnia kicks in....

So I found out I was betrayed yesterday at lunch by a friend and it hurt pretty bad because I had thought he was a real friend.  Now I don't even know what else to say because all I could think of is the times I had told him how much of a good friend he was to me and for him to turn around and to others, make it seem like I was twisting his arm to be my friend, making a complete fool of me.  I misjudged and he should take a bow for the role he played because he really had me going.  I am just sad I lost a friend but in a way relieved to know I can get rid of someone who is not worth my time.

xox

L